Life is never easy

My office, Plaza Masalam suddenly became famous since last Thursday, 16th July 2009 after a DAP political aide to assemblymen fall to his dead after hours of questioning by MACC. Ever since then, everywhere i go, everyone i see will be either asking me about the updated news or some even teased that i was the one who pushed him down..although it was just a joke but i feel heartache within me. Ever since then, i have been updating myself with news of him and also video on youtube..all done quietly though, to avoid 'someone' having phobia from hearing it or talking anything about him

His name is Teoh Beng Hock, age 30..it's really pity seeing someone dying at such a young age. I still recall seeing his dead body with my own eyes from my office window..for hours. I've just finished watching another video on his funeral day. Suddenly just have this stupid thinking that IF one day, i said IF, if one day suddenly GOD wants to recall me..how would it be? Maybe i'm just feeling very down now..i suddenly just felt that life is really not easy..i understand why GOD wants us to suffer but why? WHY?? WHY it has to happen so often? I just don't want to see people i love live in pain..i just want people around me to be happy, is it really such a tall order? I always claimed that i do the best for people..did I actually manage to do so? How many person can i actually please at one time? I thought i tried my best to give the best to everyone but it's always not enough!! I know it could be just a small matter to other people but i always treat this kind of issue with care..i know i can't just leave it aside..but how much can i actually do? A friend told me today, when two person get together, eventhough how much you love him/her, you shouldn't be giving it all the time, or everytime..but i think i DID..why? I just don't like argument and worse still, cold war..sigh..tough life..

i don't intend to spoil anyone's mood here..just feel like shouted out loud..that's all! sorry people..

-Kelvin